Okay, let me do a roll call first; there are too many names and supers now. Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk (still missing), Black Widow, Hawkeye (retired), Thor (gone home), Captain America, Falcon, Scarlet Witch, Ant-Man, Spider-Man, the War Machine, Vision, and Black Panther. Did I miss anybody? Oh, right, the Winter Soldier, who is apparently good now when he is not hearing the ten magic words: Longing, Rusted, Daybreak, Furnace, Nine, Benign, Homecoming, One, Freight C—Winter Soldier Smash! Oops! Mission Report: December 16, 1991.
But okay, whose movie is it? Captain America’s name is in the title, but nearly everyone is in this movie. I think we’re in the tradition of the superhero solo movies having three installments. In that case, you owe the Hulk two movies, still no sign of Hawkeye getting his own movie, but there are talks of Black Widow getting one though.
One job going wrong involves 117 nations to form a restriction, named after the disaster at Sokovia, on the Avengers. This brings Steve Rogers and Tony Stark on opposite ends and forces the rest to pick a side. And that’s the rest of the movie for ya. Seriously.
Oh, yeah, and there’s some unimportant backstory and a recycled plot from Iron Man 2. A survivor from Sokovia avenges the murder of his family by planting seeds into the Avengers family to murder each other. But in case Daniel Brühl has forgotten, many of these heroes can’t die. So this cash grab of a movie is completely useless, and it got us nowhere. All it did was introduce us to Black Panther and a new Spider-Man, and bring Ant-Man into the MCU.
I find it hard to believe that Ant-Man's never made himself a giant before. We didn’t see him do that in his own movie. The closest thing we got was him growing back from subatomic level.
Remember when I said that Iron Man 2 held the biggest secret we have yet to know? The little boy Iron Man saves in the ultimate battle is none other than, ta-da, little Peter Parker, played by Tom Holland no less. While you guys, and Peter himself, are wondering how Tony knew about Peter’s abilities, I have a theory. Since Tony rescued him, he probably kept an eye on him through the years, thus knowing how he got his powers. We have yet to know how Marvel is going to explain that to us. Yeah, yeah, I know that the other Spider-Man franchises are available at my disposal, but I’m focused on the here and now, darn it.
Hawkeye does return for two seconds because the world fell apart. The movie still leaves Tony and Steve divided, which is probably the only redeemable trait this movie has.
I mentioned this in Age of Ultron, and I’ll say it again: where are Jane and Pepper? Despite the line “too expensive” to come to the party, couldn’t they just hire new actors to play them? They did it with Hulk. But, yeah, look where that got us. Another Hulk has exited the franchise.
Scarlet Witch and Vision create this movie’s weird couple, though it’s not official yet. Vision sounds just creepy and charming at the same time while trying to make Scarlet (I’m just gonna call her that. I don’t remember her real name, and it’s stressing me out to type Scarlet Witch every time.) comfortable in her surroundings, even though it’s one step away from being The Silence of the Lambs. Speaking of movie references, T’Chaka’s death seems to be borrowed from The Lion King, but it decided not to own up to it, by not have Daniel Brühl admit to his death.
Technically, it started with the death of Frigga in Thor: The Dark World, but Disney has really taken over and implanting its own tropes into the franchise. I mean the killing of the moms, Frigga, Meredith Quill, and Mary Stark.
Oh, and I forgot. Peggy Carter has been alive since The Winter Soldier, but now she’s dead for real. And do you remember the nurse turned S.H.I.E.L.D. agent? She’s Peggy’s niece! But to make this reveal feel really weird, she and Steve exchange a kiss after she hands him his suit. Does she know that he made out with her aunt? Speaking of making out with aunts, is Tony seriously going to date Aunt May? Where’s the famous Uncle Ben we hear so much about? Is he alive or is he dead? And I kind of sympathize with Peter. I wouldn’t want this billionaire genius playboy philanthropist as my uncle either. (see the Civil War HISHE for that last part.)
I forgot to talk about this in Ant-Man. Well, there's not much to talk about for Ant-Man. It served no purpose but to introduce us to Scott Lang. And he exists in this movie just because. I believe Civil War exists to give our heroes something stupid to fight about so that they would rally together when a bigger threat comes along. And it's close, too. Thanos and the Infinity Stones are getting closer. Hopefully, by the time Thanos does show up, they will work out their differences. Ant-Man may be a bust, but Civil War isn't as bad as we give it credit for. It isn't the greatest movie at this point, but it may have lit the fuse to something bigger. So, I guess this brings the total to 6 wins, 5 losses, and 2 draws.
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Released On: May 6, 2016
Rating: PG-13
Stars: Robert Downey, Jr., Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany, Chadwick Boseman, Daniel Brühl, Tom Holland, Jeremy Renner, Paul Rudd
Director: Anthony Russo, Joe Russo Rotten Tomatoes Score: 91% Certified Fresh
IMDb Score: 7.8/10
Awards
Saturn Awards
- Best Comic-to-Film Motion Picture - Nominated
- Best Director Anthony and Joe Russo - Nominated
- Best Actor Chris Evans - Nominated
- Best Supporting Actor Chadwick Boseman - Nominated
- Best Supporting Actress Scarlett Johansson - Nominated
- Best Performance by a Younger Actor Tom Holland - Winner
- Best Editing Jeffrey Ford & Matthew Schmidt - Nominated
- Best Production Design - Owen Paterson - Nominated
(Click here to view more awards for "Captain America: Civil War")
Videos
Screen Junkies - Honest Trailers - Captain America: The Winter Soldier
How It Should Have Ended - How Captain America: Civil War Should Have Ended
How It Should Have Ended - Captain America: Civil War Alternate HISHE
How It Should Have Ended - Civil War - HISHE Review (SPOILERS)
CinemaSins - Everything Wrong With Captain America: Civil War
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